steelartisan | (no subject)

(no subject)

Serenity is a very nice ship. Cozy. The room Kate and Piotr inhabit is small, but it's comfortable, and Mal and his crew are both kind and generous to let them live there for so long.

But small passenger bunks on a small spaceship, however cozy, do not have lots of extra room for easels. And it's generally considered rude to accidentally smudge oil paint on your host's floor and walls.

Which is why Piotr is out by the lake, taking advantage of the morning sun to work on a new canvas.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Really?" Her smile's crooked as she looks at him. "You're fine with not ever having a baby?"

It doesn't sound very much like she believes him.

That's because Kate is smart. And because Kate knows her boyfriend.

Piotr exhales.

"I want a child," he says to the lake. "Children. A family. And there are more reasons I have not said."

"But I want them with you, Katya. If that means there are obstacles, then there are obstacles. I do not want to hurt you."

He doesn't need to think of Kaylee, weeping in her engine room, to know how much this could hurt them both.

And because Kate is human, even if a mutant sort.

"I know," she murmurs and turns to kiss his shoulder. "I want you to have them. I want us both to have them. I just don't know if we can."

"What other reasons, Piotr?"

He's not looking at her, now.

This he hasn't said to anyone.

"You remember when my cousin Larisa asked me to come to Moscow. Months ago."

"...Uh-huh."

In the immortal words of Han Solo, she has a bad feeling about this.

Now, whyever would that be?

"She was a journalist. She had found that people were being murdered -- burned up, all the same way. All of them descendents of my grandfather."

"I did not know some of them," he adds absently. "Barely or not at all."

It's not hard to know where to start in this story. It's hard to know what exactly to say. How much detail to go into.

"She said she had found that we were descended from Grigori Yefimovitch Rasputin. Our grandfather was his son. I doubted -- it is not an uncommon name. It seemed fantastic. But she had done the research, and she was right."

This is Kate, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Right. Okay. Why not? Makes as much sense as anything else in our lives."

She wants to hit something.

"What does this have to do with babies?"

He doesn't really want to tell this. There are reasons he's held it in so long.

And it's worse to tell it to her, now, in this context. With what she's just said about phasing. But it will never be any easier, and she won't thank him for waiting; Kate has always preferred to get things over with.

"He was a mutant, and a magician. Rasputin. He learned from Sinister. When he died finally, at the end, he put his essence into all his descendants. Babies."

"He meant to be reborn. But he needs his power to not be split among the bloodline for that to happen. To only have one left alive."

He wants something to do with his hands.

For a moment she's speechless which, really, is something of an accomplishment.

And then she's punching his shoulder.

"This is the sort of thing you tell your girlfriend when it happens, you idiot! Not keep stoically to yourself! You're not Scott! Don't act like it, you colossal tin jerk!"

"I did not know what to say."

He's smiling for a second, though -- only a second, but this is so Katya. Small and fierce and full of words.

...And punches, but he can take those.

"And." This one's harder to find the words for. "My uncle is dead now, and Larisa. But I will not be the last one. Mikhail made sure of that."

He's kind of glossing over the after he broke Sinister's influence on him and stopped trying to kill me part, but whatever.

She's angry.

She's incredibly angry, as she glares at him and debates whether to punch him again.

She decides against it, for the moment, and forces a breath as she rubs at her eyes with one hand.

And what she says, when she's sure she's controlled her temper, is, "So we're going to start trying for a baby, then."

It's not really a question.

"Katya..."

He wants babies. For so many reasons.

But he doesn't want --

He doesn't want her to risk that much pain just for his sake. Doesn't want her to feel trapped, or guilted into this.

Softly, "He went to a place called the Dark Zone. Nothing comes out of there, and nothing dies. He chose that."

Have children, his brother said just before he stepped into his portal and away forever. Lots of children. They'll be strong, like you. And Then perhaps someday I can be at peace.

It's always on his mind.

But this isn't just him.

Her face softens, a little.

Only a little but it's there as she shifts--not quite on his lap, but the best she can in this position.

"You're a jerk. And I'm angry at you," she says first, calmly, before sighing and lifting a hand to his cheek.

"And you're Piotr. You're mine. I've lost you more times than I can count, and I refuse to lose you again."

And then her face softens a little more as she leans in to kiss him, gently. "You always take care of me. Even when I don't want you too. Remember the Brood?" Her smile's crooked. "We both wished I was older. But you wanted to take care of me and love me best you could. So you made us wait.

"I'm older, now. And I'm going to take care of you. Like it or not, bub." The second kiss is a little longer, if just as gentle as the first. "It's not just you. We're an endangered species, sweetie. And in a perfect world there not being many mutants wouldn't be an issue and your great-grandfather wouldn't have a chance of taking over your body. But we've never lived in one. And they're reasons that matter. And," she murmurs against his mouth, "I want your children, Piotr Nikolievitch Rasputin. There's that too. And I don't know if this will work. I don't know if I can go that long without phasing, and I don't know that it won't be hard to conceive anyway. But I'm not going to take my pill tonight. And we're going to see a doctor, to start this off right, as soon as we can. And you're going to fuck me and make love to me many," and there's a kiss to break the words up, "many," and another, "many times, tovarisch. And we're going to make this work if we can."

"Я тебя люблю, Катя." I love you.

He's shifted by now to cradle her more comfortably in his lap, and he cups her cheek with a broad hand, runs his fingers gently through her hair.

(The paint on his hands has dried by now. Which is a good thing, as he's not especially noticing it any more.)

Another kiss, and longer, before he whispers, still in Russian, "Are you certain? I do not -- We both need to be sure."

But he is.

It almost hurts, how much he loves her right now. Almost.

"Da," she says simply, thumb rubbing his cheekbone. "You're stuck with me for life. And that makes me certain enough."

She smiles as she turns her head to kiss his wrist.

"Might not work. Might hurt. But we're going to try it, Peter. Try for me to have your baby. We'll see what happens after that."

There is a question he very nearly asks, right then.

But no. He will do this properly. (But, he thinks, he will be looking at jewelry stores, now.)

So instead he only says "I love you," again, soft and Russian and heartfelt, and kisses her.

It's only when they have to break apart again for breath that he meets her eyes and murmurs, "Our baby. If we can." So many ifs -- but he doesn't know how much his face lights up at just those words.

She does, though, and it makes her want to laugh, her own smile small and very, very, very happy.

"If we can," she murmurs back, and knows saying it that way won't keep them from having high hopes.

"Little you and me. Like that thought," Kate smiles again as she presses kisses to his neck, one after another.

"I love you, Piotr." Her arms are firm around his neck as she whispers. "You'll be such a good father. Little girl or boy Pryde-Rasputin will be very lucky."

"You will be a wonderful mother."

It is, to him, just fact.

He kisses her temple, wraps his arms around her and smiles against her hair, and feels as if his skin is too small for the love inside him, as if the summer sunshine is just an echo of the warmth between them.

There are ifs and maybes and complications. But he loves her, and this is something he's been hoping for for eleven years.

"Maybe," she whispers, smiling more.

"We'll ask our baby when he's old enough to talk what he thinks." Kate mouths slowly at Piotr's jaw before murmuring into his ear, "You're the only one I'd do this with."

In many ways, they know each other very, very well.

"My beautiful Katya," he whispers into her neck, low and a little husky, and takes his time with kissing his way back up to her mouth.

It's not perfect. It's not certain. It's not all either of them could want.

But this, here, the two of them and this decision and this hope in the summer sunlight, is so much more than enough.

"Yeah, well. If you ever keep something like that from me again for this long I'll be you're ready to kill you Katya instead.'

Still, she's smiling into his skin and breathing slowly and contentedly.

"We're also totally going to start trying tonight," she adds after a moment.

For one very nice reason.

Trying can be fun.

"You will still be beautiful."

What? It's true!

"I didn't want you to feel... obligated," he adds, softer. "Or guilty."

"And I did not know how to talk about it. I didn't want to."

"Well, I hope so." That's dry, as she kisses his neck very softly.

And then she kisses him again. "I know. S'why I didn't push. But you should have this time before this. It doesn't make me feel better to know you were keeping this." It's a very gentle movement as she cups his cheek. "You wanted me crowding you. You got it, Piotr, but that means you being open with me. Especially on the big things."

This kiss is long and deep, and Kate smiles against his mouth without entirely pulling away. "I don't feel obligated. Don't feel guilty. Just feel love for you, Peter. I want this with you. For many reasons. But the love's kinda important."

"All right," he says softly in Russian, and it's to all of that. Both halves.

He's smiling just a little, small and lopsided and very warm, and he cradles the back of her head with a hand.

"You are so good for me, Katya."

"And don't you forget it."

The tone is gentler than the words, as she shifts in his lap to face him more easily, hold him that much closer.

"You're going to be a good daddy," she murmurs again, and this time she lets herself believe, a little more, that this is going to work out.

"Any more secrets?"