On Shadow

Nov. 10th, 2007 11:40 pm
steelartisan: (just a handsome man)
[personal profile] steelartisan
Piotr spent most of the afternoon mending fences. Horses rub against fences and kick them; wind and rain and time wear them down. It's a neverending chore on any farm with livestock to make sure everything is in good repair, and fix any weak spots before they turn into problems big enough for the animals to get out.

It's good, honest work. Satisfying.

But he's finished with this fence, and the sun is sinking. He'll head back in to Sallie's cozy house soon, and to dinner. Her cooking's not the Russian farm food he grew up with, but she's still an excellent cook.

First, though...

Shadow has some truly beautiful sunsets.

Date: 2007-11-12 12:51 am (UTC)
From: [personal profile] prydeful
"You're kinda predictable, y'know," Kate remarks as settles next to him.

Date: 2007-11-12 04:52 am (UTC)
From: [personal profile] prydeful
Ya rly say her eyebrows back as she grins.

"Farmboy's home."

Date: 2007-11-12 05:00 am (UTC)
From: [personal profile] prydeful
"You can have my share of all farm-love," Kate offers dryly generously.

Date: 2007-11-12 05:12 am (UTC)
prydeful: (Thinking)
From: [personal profile] prydeful
"I think it makes you happy," she says simple, and takes his hand, "and so it's good."

Date: 2007-11-12 05:27 am (UTC)
prydeful: (Thinking)
From: [personal profile] prydeful
"I didn't say I wanted to put in an offer on a place like it," she says dryly, but she leans a little against his arm anyway.

"Besides, you are."

Date: 2007-11-12 05:36 am (UTC)
From: [personal profile] prydeful
Now's pretty good for that, yes.

"Need help with anything?" she asks after a minute.

Date: 2007-11-12 05:44 am (UTC)
From: [personal profile] prydeful
"I can do that."

And so she tugs his arm around her and rests her head against his chest.

"But next time you may have to twist my arm."

Date: 2007-11-12 05:50 am (UTC)
From: [personal profile] prydeful
"Better be good," she says solemnly, and then grins and turns her head to kiss his jaw.

"I have high standards."

Date: 2007-11-12 06:17 am (UTC)
prydeful: (Wanted Most)
From: [personal profile] prydeful
"Good man."

She sighs as she leans back against him and closes her eyes.

"This is nice."

She doesn't mean the sunset.

Date: 2007-11-12 06:28 am (UTC)
From: [personal profile] prydeful
For a while she says nothing.

And then she murmurs, "Do you want do to some of the talking thing now, or later?"

Date: 2007-11-12 06:41 am (UTC)
prydeful: (Thinking)
From: [personal profile] prydeful
"Not really," she admits.

"But we should."

She's listening to his heartbeat.

"Which part do you want to talk about first?"

Date: 2007-11-12 02:10 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] prydeful
She'd rather not talk about that marriage bit yet, Kate finds.

So instead she says, looking at the sunset instead of him, "We could talk about kids."

Date: 2007-11-13 05:25 pm (UTC)
prydeful: (Thinking)
From: [personal profile] prydeful
She's silent for a minute before saying, "I don't know. It could be nice. I think it's a bad idea to do it just because we can. And I think it's a good idea to do it just because we can."

She's been thinking about it a lot.

That doesn't mean she has a lot of answers.

"I love you. I'll always love you. I want to keep you safe. And that makes it--makes it a good thing, I think. I don't know."

The more I think the more I'm scared she won't say. Not yet.

"What do you think?" she asks him instead.

Date: 2007-11-13 09:16 pm (UTC)
prydeful: (Wanted Most)
From: [personal profile] prydeful
His arms are warm around her, hands settled over hers on her stomach.

She's very aware of that.

"I don't know either."

Kate closes her eyes after a moment, feels his chest rise and fall and listens to his heart beat in it.

"There's still the phasing problem. We'd have to make sure I couldn't, if we don't want to risk miscarriage."

There is always something clinical in the way she says that.

She doesn't know how else to say it.

Date: 2007-11-13 10:14 pm (UTC)
prydeful: (Wanted Most)
From: [personal profile] prydeful

"I don't know what to do, Piotr. This isn't the time--when I go back, it's not the time to take someone who can fight out of commission. And I don't know how--I mean...we could get a Genoshan collar."

The idea makes her stomach clench.

But they could.

"Just for the night. It should be enough. But it's just...it's nine months. And I'm scared of losing our baby."

Scared is a dirty word, almost.

But it's a true one, and it's for good reasons.

"And I'm scared," she murmurs, softly, "of not ever meeting our baby. I don't want to throw any chance away."

Kate's thumb rubs against his hand, briefly, before she murmurs, "What do you want to do?"

Date: 2007-11-14 05:14 am (UTC)
prydeful: (gone like that)
From: [personal profile] prydeful
"It never gets better." That's to herself more than him, before she tilts her head back and against his. "Dream--if I let him, Dream would help me. Take control over while I rest, sorta. I wasn't--it makes me nervous. Even with it being Dream." And, more quietly, "I want to be able to do it on my own. To take care of my baby on my own." And it's nine months. "If I had to," she says finally, eyes still shut, "I would phase anyway. But I would work so hard to never have to while pregnant. No guarantee, but--I would try. And if Dream takes care of it at night--It's never going to be the right time for us, Piotr. Never a good time in our world. So we have to--I think we have to decide if this is a time we're willing to take a chance on. Or not." And she breathes out and then asks, "So what do you think?"

Date: 2007-11-14 05:56 am (UTC)
prydeful: (gone like that)
From: [personal profile] prydeful
Kate doesn't say anything for several moments.

And then she turns in his arms, first to just press her face to his chest and wrap her arms around him and say nothing.

Kate tilts her head back, looks at Piotr's face for a good while, looks for something in it she must find, because she pushes herself up on her tiptoes to kiss him, soft and deep and slow.

"I am scared." It's his language, not hers, as she breathes the words against his mouth. "For our child. For us. Of losing our child, of the world we're bringing him into. But I am not so scared as to not try, I don't think. If you will help me."

She knows the answer to that already.

Date: 2007-11-14 06:02 am (UTC)
From: [personal profile] prydeful
And that makes her laugh, a little, quietly, into his mouth.

"Da, then. Piotr Nikolevitch Rasputin. Da. We won't wait on that part."

Date: 2007-11-14 06:18 am (UTC)
prydeful: (Wanted Most)
From: [personal profile] prydeful
"I love you too. With everything in me. I love you."

She smiles at the feel of his hand, and she offers a kiss to his palm before looking up at him.

"So we will try for a baby. You and I."

And a very small part of her, the part that most little girls have and never lose, wonders if they can name the child Carmen if it's a boy.

But it's very small, and in the back, behind the fear and the excitement and the joy.

"Good decision, I think."

Date: 2007-11-14 06:56 am (UTC)
From: [personal profile] prydeful
She's still scared.

A lot--no doubt about that.

But the way he looks, the happiness--it helps. It helps her start to risk feeling a little of her own. A little more hope.

"Trying's good. We can do that."

She kisses his jaw, softly, slowly, and repeated, making a path from one side of his face to another before just sighing and breathing in his skin.

Kids they've talked about.

There's another, reason, though, they're on Shadow.

Kate doesn't lift her head or say a word for a few minutes before saying, slowly, "I love you. And I'm yours. But I don't--let's have this. Have this first. And later we'll talk about what else we can have."

And now she does lift her head, looking at him as she bites her lip before saying, "A child's not a reason to get married. And I know--I know you love me, Piotr, I do, and I love you too. But let's--not marriage yet. Let's try to have our baby. And then--then we can see what we do next. As," and her smile is small and nervous and more hopeful than she knows, "a family."
Edited Date: 2007-11-14 07:00 am (UTC)

Date: 2007-11-14 07:48 am (UTC)
prydeful: (Wanted Most)
From: [personal profile] prydeful
And that makes her shoulder slump just a little, an inch or so, in relief, and makes her press her face into his hand.

"Spasibo." Thank you, she murmurs, because she knows--of course--it's not what he was hoping for, not what he wants.

But it's what is, and--and it's them. If he says, all right, then Kate believes it is.

Her hands drift up to stroke his hair, cradle his face, and she whispers, "I love you," very softly, voice gentle as her touch.

"Our family. We'll try. We'll see how it goes." And there's hope in that. The kind that's not given through needles. The kind that gives instead of taking away.
Edited Date: 2007-11-14 07:59 am (UTC)


steelartisan: (Default)
Piotr Nikolaievitch Rasputin

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